Be a good listener

Few human beings are proof against the implied (含蓄的) flattery of rapt (專心致志的) attention.

There is no mystery about successful business intercourse (交流)...Exclusive (專有的) attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that.

Many people fail to make a favorable impression because they don't listen attentively. They have been so much concerned with what they are going to say next that they do not keep their ears open. Very important people have told me that they prefer good listeners to good talkers, but the ability to listen seems rarer than almost any other good trait (特點).

If you aspire (渴望) to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments (成就).

Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.

Carnegie, D.D. (1981). How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Ed.) New York, NY: Pocket Books.