Chapter 3

Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don't want your children to smoke, don't preach (說教) at them, and don't talk about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash (奔跑).

"If there is any one secret of success," said Henry Ford, "it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."

Many salespeople spend a lifetime in selling without seeing things from the customer's angle.

Looking at the other person's point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed (理解為) as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment (損害).

A child was underweight and refused to eat properly. His parents used the usual method. They scolded and nagged (嘮叨)...His father said to himself, "What does that boy want? How can I tie up what I want to what he wants?"...His boy had a tricycle that he loved to ride up and down the sidewalk (人行道). A few doors down the street lived a bully--a bigger boy who would pull the little boy off his tricycle and ride it himself...Naturally, the little boy would run screaming to his mother, and she would have to come out and take the bully off the tricycle and put her little boy on again. This happened every day...What did the little boy want?...His pride, his anger, his desire for a feeling of important...And when his father explained that the boy would be able to wallop (擊潰) the daylights out of the bigger kid someday if he would only eat the things his mother wanted him to eat.


Carnegie, D.D. (1981). How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Ed.) New York, NY: Pocket Books.