做唔倒領袖，都要知道老闆諗緊乜

It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.

Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing.

Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word "but" and ending with a critical statement...This could be easily overcome by changing the word "but" to "and".

It isn't nearly so difficult to listen to a recital (敘述) of your faults if the person criticizing begins by humbly (謙遜地) admitting that he, too, is far from impeccable (無可挑剔的).

Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable (可接受的); it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.

Letting one save face. How important, how vitally important that is. And how few of us ever stop to think of it. We ride roughshod (冷酷無情的) over the feelings of others, getting our own way, finding fault, issuing threats, criticizing a child or an employee in front of others, without even considering the hurt to the other person's pride. Whereas a few minutes' thoughts, a considerate word or two, a genuine understanding of the other person's attitude, would go so far toward alleviating (緩解) the sting.

"I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime."

"Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise."

Use of praise instead of criticism is the basic concept of B. F. Skinner's teachings. This great contemporary psychologist has shown by experiments with animals and with humans that when criticism is minimized and praise emphasized, the good things people do will be reinforced and the poorer things will atrophy (萎縮) for lack of attention.

Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere --- not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good.

"Compared with what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use."

Tell your child, your spouse, or your employee that he or she is stupid at a certain thing, has no gift for it, and is doing it all wrong, and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve. But use the opposite technique --- be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair (天賦) for it --- and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window in order to excel.

Carnegie, D. (1981). How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Ed.) New York, NY: Pocket Books.